I don’t post confessionals too often, but when I do, they are well-read posts. My last post, 10 Random Things About Me, was a huge hit. A friend of mine who is a well-known blogger has always said that if you can weave a compelling personal story into a lesson for your readers, that is what resonates with people the most. So for me, having a blog, and creating content that feels true-to-me but yet still serves a purpose to keep people reading, isn’t always easy. There is a lot of content online right now – 1 in 7 people in the United States is direct selling or social selling a product, so our social media feeds are full to the brim with links, articles and things to buy. It’s much harder to get clicks, traffic, sales, or interest in whatever you are putting out there into the world.
I find that Bloggers, Youtubers, and even Instagrammers that I like to follow, usually surprise me a little bit with their content. It’s always interesting to get a little bit of a window into someone else’s life, what they value, recommend or the reasons that they have landed where they are today. That’s where the magic lies, it’s in their story, not necessarily the perfect finished product. Otherwise, reading someone’s makeup recommends, business tips, or perfectly curated photo-feed is kind of boring.
Many of my friends and even extended network know about the crap that I have been suffering with over the past few years. It’s a brutal rollercoaster of emotion that has simply been unrelenting. If anyone has suffered a trauma, they will know that the slow-burn of pain that happens after the fact, is actually the worst part. I’ve never been one to really give much thought about what people think about me – but when a troll decides that you are the target, and won’t let go of their dagger, it’s pretty hard not to let it get to you.
Obsessing over what has happened and how to change it, is a reality you go through when you have been faced with something tough. Turning back the clock, and thinking about what could have been and who you were prior to this happening are played over and over in your head like a loop. Finding friends and resources that can listen and empathize over and over again seems selfish. I’ve been there a million times over.
At times my feet feel like they are walking through concrete, and I am simply moving them forward so slowly that I will never get to a destination. So many things that I used to love like sparkly jewelry, seem absolutely frivolous and irrelevant now. And yet, I hold so much gratitude because the truth is, it’s simply not that bad. I have so many things in my life to be happy about; healthy kids, a loving husband, parents that are still alive and well. I feel guilt sometimes over being stuck on this one issue. Truly it could be so much worse!
If you live long enough to tell it, everyone goes through hard shit. That’s the reality of getting older. Some of it is really f*cking hard and yet, if you allow yourself to, you will get through it. But I’ve learned that it is really okay to feel shitty about it, for as long as you need to, and let the pain and uncomfortableness swirl around until it’s not so painful anymore. There will always be people shrouded in negativity, and often what they say or do is a mirror of how they are feeling – it has nothing to do with you. And you can’t change it. If they choose to shoot daggers your way, which has happened to me, the best thing to do is to pray for them. Because it’s just not about you, it’s about them.
I’ve written a few posts about finding joy, gratitude, spending less and getting to the core of happiness. Some days I just feel shitty, and it comes out in my writing, like I am my own personal therapist, working my way through the fog. I’m still always thinking about That Mom Hustle – which isn’t just about selling your wares to friends, but rather, it’s a movement about finding your best balance of earning an income while raising a family. Direct selling, blogging, freelancing or creating is the real result of women like me, coming out of the workforce to try and do it differently because they knew there was a better way.
So I am still working on how to best inspire others through my blog, including my random posts, writing around the web and other ventures that I am cooking up. It’s a meandering path sometimes.
Will you stick with me on the journey?