You will get through hard things.
This is a daily mantra that I have been reminding myself of frequently. My talented friend Sara Ramsay, wrote a very compelling post about getting through hard times – and knowing that you have done it before is a good reminder that you can do it again.
I fucking hate goal setting sometimes because I’ve failed plenty and get always a bit clammed up remembering the things I didn’t complete. But there are plenty of goals that I have hit throughout my career. So being kind and gentle about the failures is something new for me.
I have lots of wishes. And sometimes it’s okay to keep them at just wishes. So I try to accept that these will be just wishes. And I think that is okay too. I’ve learned to be really honest with myself about the things that I probably don’t want to do to make those wishes into goals.
Looking back is dangerous sometimes because you can get caught up in the things that you can’t change. And I am certain that I don’t want my past to become my future. It’s like a band that had 5 or 6 hits way-back-when, and then spends the next 30 years continuing to tour based on old success. That would never be for me – I like to create new things. And in doing that means failure is gonna happen.
I haven’t been writing as much lately at all because I haven’t been inspired. A few contracts I had ended which has given me time to reflect and percolate. As a result, I’ve thought a lot about creating new habits in order to create space for new things in life. A blog that I follow has a few courses around changing habits, and how if you want different results, you have to change what you do everyday in order to make that happen.
That’s what I need to do.
I hope some of my new habits will inspire you to create some new ones of your own. Some of my new habits in order to create changes in my life and work are:
1. Start each morning with 5 things I am grateful for…
Gratitude practice is something that I need to remember. My kids have both been under some stressful times, and as a result I have noticed that they have been focusing on the negative. Trying to remind them to be grateful for all of the positive things in their life has reminded me that I need to be better at it myself. So each morning I am writing down 5 things I am grateful to have in my life:
I am grateful for hot coffee. I am grateful for two healthy daughters. I am grateful for healing. I am grateful for wonderful friends. I am grateful for the wisdom I have.
It makes every morning just a little bit sweeter.
2. Do not Subscribe!
I need to stop subscribing to newsletters, sales, and any other email marketing. It literally has become and epidemic and I simply need to take the time to unsubscribe to things, people, follows that make me a) waste time and b) feel bad that I am not doing more/earning more. Subscribing is almost a disease. Remember to follow who you want to follow, and curate your life to only let in the things you need that will make it better.
3. Connect in person with friends, loved ones and aquaintances.
When you work from home, it’s easy to get caught in a circle of not seeing people. When I look at old messages on Facebook from birthdays past (some people I only chat with once a year) I realize how often we say ‘let’s get together!’ but simply don’t make the time to do that. And when you finally do, you realize that you should have been the whole time. It’s got to be a habit, and I commit to doing it at least once a week.
4. Get outside in the fresh air.
My dog doesn’t like to be walked. She’s a bit of a princess, but she sleeps better at night if she has been walked during the day. And so if I make the commitment to walk her every morning and/or afternoon, it’s good for both of us. I love even the short walk around my block to clear my head and remember to enjoy all of the gifts my beautiful neighbourhood offers.
5. Work on more marketing for my blog and writing.
I’ve gotten a but complacent when it comes to marketing. In the past I have had enough work to make me happy. Then when things changed, I was okay with that too. But now with Pinterest changing, and Tailwind Tribes changing, I’ve realized that my main website traffic provider needs some attention. Time to make room to market, which means updating and deleting old posts, updating my other website, and pitching brands and people I want to work with. Rejection doesn’t always mean ‘no’, sometimes it’s simply ‘not right now.’ Many creators love to work on creating new stuff and not market what we have already created. That is where rejection, judgment and fear-that-we-won’t-succeed comes in. So it’s easy to hide behind the creation process.
6. Keep laughing.
When you take the world onto your shoulders, or dwell on things that you cannot change, it’s hard to keep laughing top of mind. A good laugh makes crummy situations seem much less serious! There are plenty of times when a laugh or two has pulled me out of despair. Watching funny clips on Youtube or making a few lighthearted jokes with friends via text or in person can change something from not-so-sunny to kinda-sunny. Especially when you are going through a hard time, or grieving, it can be sort of a crutch to hang on to misery. Keep laughing. That’s a new habit that should be easy to implement. Plus I’m getting stupid frown lines from too much frowning.
What habits do you need to change in order to create the life you want to lead?