Over the past year or two I have had a few situations where I really just confronted something uncomfortable. This is NOT something that is in my character. I dislike confrontation and have always been kind of wishy-washy when it comes to seeing people as they really are portraying themselves. By that I mean, giving another chance, finding a reason why it is ok, etc. when they are really just showing you who they really are. And in my life I have lost a LOT of sleep over reacting to other people’s actions. However the reason I am writing this is because it is still not easy! I still wrestle with it when little things come up. I am sounding vague so here is an example.
Recently I had a disappointment with a friend/colleague that I worked with rather frequently. That person just chose to start going in another direction – and that other direction did not include me. I am hoping it was nothing personal, and quite honestly I don’t think it was. But my feelings were still hurt. Should they have been? Probably not. I lamented over this a lot and talked about it to my hubby, friend etc. when I finally just confronted this person. Did it make me feel better? Well, not really because the response was kind of passive/aggressive and sort of verified my discontent. But what I have learned is that the confrontation set me free. Now I know the answer! And even though I am disappointed, I can choose to go forward. In my past, I was always the person that gave another chance, looked for the best and sucked it up. Confronting it, I have learned, means you may find out that what you are feeling might actually be true and warranted. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck….usually you can expect some quacking!
I have tried to take this lesson into my work.
When you do direct sales or something very personal like makeup, it is easy to feel defeated when someone says No to your product or service. Perhaps it is that feeling of rejection, or the confrontation that makes us feel uncomfortable. But hearing them say NO sets you free! Free to question, free to ask why, and then free to accept that answer. It usually isn’t personal, but I have found it often takes me to a place of feeling that same feeling of personal rejection. Becoming more accustomed to that uncomfortable feeling, makes it easier and easier to accept it. And carry on.